Deepening Connection from the Start in Internal Group Coaching Programs

In the fast-moving environments of today’s organizations, group coaching has become an essential practice for fostering collaboration, growth, and leadership development. Yet any group coach knows that success depends on more than structure, frameworks, or even facilitation skill. It hinges on the depth of connection established between participants.

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Without trust and openness, conversations remain surface-level, and the transformational potential of the group is left untapped.

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One powerful way to understand and intentionally cultivate connection is through social penetration theory, a framework developed by psychologists Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor. This theory describes how interpersonal relationships develop through gradual self-disclosure, moving from superficial information to deeper layers of personal meaning. Applied to group coaching, it helps us see connection not as a happy accident, but as a process we can nurture intentionally from the very first session.

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Social Penetration Theory: A Roadmap for Connection

Social penetration theory suggests that relationships evolve like peeling back the layers of an onion. At first, interactions may cover only outer layers: safe topics like work roles, hobbies, or organizational context. As trust grows, participants are willing to disclose more personal insights, emotions, and values. This deepening of conversation fosters intimacy, understanding, and a sense of belonging.

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In a group coaching context, this means the coach’s role is to help co-create an environment where participants feel safe enough to move beyond surface-level exchanges. By intentionally structuring activities, group coaches can accelerate this process without forcing vulnerability prematurely. The balance lies in inviting depth while respecting each individual’s readiness to share.

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Why Deep Connection Matters in Group Coaching

The benefits of cultivating connection early in the group coaching process are significant:

• Trust and Psychological Safety: When participants feel seen and heard, they are more likely to take risks, ask questions, and challenge assumptions.
• Collective Learning: Deeper connections enable participants to build on one another’s insights rather than staying confined to individual experiences.
• Resilience and Accountability: A connected group is more likely to support one another in applying learnings back in the workplace, sustaining change beyond the sessions.

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Without these foundations, group coaching risks becoming a transactional exchange of ideas rather than a transformative developmental experience.

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Two Activities to Deepen Connection from the Start

To operationalize social penetration theory, group coaches can use structured activities that encourage gradual, authentic sharing. Here are two examples:

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1. The Layers of the Onion Exercise

• Step 1: Introduce the metaphor of the onion and explains the three layers: surface (facts, roles), personal (beliefs, goals, values), and core (emotions, fears, aspirations).
• Step 2: Give group members 2 minutes to reflect on what they want to share from each layer.
• Step 3: As a whole group, or groups of 3, participants take turns sharing something from each layer, starting with surface-level information. For example: “I’ve worked in this company for 8 years” (surface), “I value collaboration and honesty in my work” (personal), “I sometimes fear my ideas aren’t bold enough” (core).
• Step 4: Debrief collectively, reflecting on what it felt like to move through the layers and what insights, connections and common themes emerged.

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2. Story Circles: Defining Moments

Stories are powerful vehicles for connection, and this exercise uses them to invite participants into deeper self-disclosure.

• Step 1: The coach asks each participant to reflect on a defining moment in their professional journey, an experience that shaped who they are as a leader or team member.
• Step 2: In small groups of 3–4, participants take turns sharing their story while others listen without interruption.
• Step 3: After each story, group members reflect back what resonated with them, focusing on themes of courage, growth, or resilience.

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By moving beyond titles and roles into lived experiences, this activity creates empathy and recognition. Participants often realize they share similar struggles and triumphs, which builds a strong sense of common humanity.

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Challenges for Group Coaches in Organizational Contexts

While the principles are clear, group coaches working inside organizations face unique challenges in creating connection:

1. Hierarchical Dynamics

Participants may include individuals at different levels of authority. Junior employees may hesitate to speak openly in front of senior leaders, fearing judgment or repercussions. Coaches must carefully design spaces that flatten hierarchy, and curate groups avoiding pre-existing relationships or hierarchical.

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2. Time Pressures

Organizations often want quick results, which can lead to compressed group coaching programs. Coaches may feel pressure to jump into problem-solving before trust has been established. This risks limiting the depth of conversation and undermining long-term impact. Coaches must advocate for the importance of investing time in connection-building, even if it feels “unproductive” in the short term.

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3. Organizational Culture and Psychological Safety

In cultures where vulnerability is not valued, participants may resist opening up. For example, in highly competitive environments, admitting to challenges may be perceived as weakness. Coaches must work gently within these constraints, modeling openness and framing vulnerability as strength and courage.

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4. Confidentiality Concerns

Unlike external coaching groups, participants in organizational settings might know each other and may worry that what they share could circulate beyond the group. Coaches help the group co-create strong agreements around confidentiality and revisit these regularly to maintain trust.

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The Role of the Group Coach

Ultimately, creating deep connection in group coaching is less about clever activities and more about presence and intention. By embodying curiosity, empathy, and nonjudgment, coaches signal that it is safe to go beyond the surface. Activities like the Onion Exercise and Story Circles are simply vehicles for the deeper work of building trust.

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Social penetration theory provides a powerful lens for this process, reminding us that connection unfolds in layers. For group coaches working in organizational contexts, being mindful of the specific challenges while leaning on structured approaches can make all the difference.

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When groups move beyond transactional exchanges to authentic connection, they unlock the real promise of group coaching: not only learning together, but transforming together.

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